Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Black Beauty Rewrite (5/6/15)

Black Beauty p. 27

"He stood by, patting and stroking me whilst I was eating, and seeing the clots of blood on my side he seemed vexed by the way he was shaking his head. He growled out something about a vicious brute. Then he led me into my box, took off the saddle and briddle with his own hands and tied me up; then a pail of warm water appeared after the command of the old master's voice."

In this passage, Ginger tells Black Beauty about her experience with Samson and about the time he had overworked her. Luckily, her old master came to the rescue when he finds her under an oak tree and takes her back to the stable.

To make the passage less of a human perspective, Theo, Glen, and I removed all of the dialogue and focused more on the visuals Ginger would've seen or felt. For example, the old master's hand gestures and touch could express how he felt towards her. And the tone of his voice would also give away the emotion he felt.

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